


Initiating Intimacy

by thewakeless



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: BDSM, Grindr, M/M, Smut, dan's never had a boyfriend, dan's thirsty, intimacy problems
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-05-14 14:36:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14771523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewakeless/pseuds/thewakeless
Summary: After a year of celibacy, Dan's had enough.  He's horny and uses Grindr to get exactly what he wants.  He expected sex, what he got was Phil.





	1. Chapter 1

Dan Howell was gay, twenty-one years old, and extremely frustrated. He was frustrated by his law studies, his shitty job at the University Library, his constant procrastination, his lack of a social life, and also the fact that he hadn’t gotten fucked in fifteen months and he hadn’t been properly fucked in much much longer.  His dry spell had begun sometime around his twentieth birthday, when he made the smart educated adult decision to stop getting fucked by strangers.  

It had felt very good and healthy at the time, but now after fifteen months without a dick in him it felt more like a cruel punishment from the gods.  How did people live like this? Or more importantly how was  _he_  supposed to live like this? It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying.  He had gone on a dozen unsuccessful, joyless dates, with friends of friends, or guys he met in class, but it was just no good, Dan was simply too socially inept to date.  So, here he was, twenty-one years old, on a Friday night, staring up at the ceiling and quietly asking himself if he should use a favorite dildo to get off tonight or his favor vibrator.  

He grumbled, and instead of going for the bottom cabinet of his nightstand he grabbed his phone and texted his best friend Louise.  

D: I think I might shoot myself tonight.  

L: Or you could come to a bar with me

D: Louise!

L: Sorry, sorry, I’m listening.

D: Seriously, what am I going to do?

L: I don’t know you’ve rejected everyone I set you up with.

D:  They reject me.

L: I don’t believe that for a second.  

Dan sighed, it was true in most cases he was the one to break contact but only because every date he had been on felt so forced and contrite.  That wasn’t what having a boyfriend was supposed to feel like. Not that Dan knew much about having a boyfriend…

L: Do you want me to come over?

D: No, I wanna have sex.  I can’t take this anymore.

L: Dan come on you’ve held out for so long, don’t give up now, the right guy is just around the corner.   And when we find him we’re going to grab a butterfly net and never let him go.  

Dan gave a feeble smile as he read her message. He had promised himself that there would be no more hookups, no more grindr, and no more anonymity.  What he really wanted was a relationship, a boyfriend, someone to depend on and hang out with, and he wasn’t going to get that by sleeping with someone as soon as he met him.  He had spent most of his teen years doing just that and it made him absolutely miserable.  There was nothing worse than getting turned down for coffee by someone who’s already fucked you.  How many times had that happened? How many times had he used poor Louise as his sobbing pillow?  No, she was right he couldn’t go back to that, he just had to wait, wait….

On Saturday, he decided he fucking couldn’t wait anymore.  Yes, he wanted a relationship but he also wanted to have sex.  He was so tense, and frustrated, and horny, and just tired of waiting.   He wasn’t even going to tell Louise about it.  It would just be a one-time thing, and then he would go back to his celibacy.

As soon as he made up his wind a wave of relief and excitement washed over him and he grabbed his phone and re-downloaded the Grindr app.   Within 30 minutes he had set up a simple profile for himself.  He had selected a rather favorable picture of himself at the beach, which Louise had taken last summer, where he looked a little less chubby and a lot more tanned than he actually was.  He made it clear that he was bottom, and tried to sound just as desperate as he was because he needed it right fucking now.  

After finishing, he went and made himself a cup of hot chocolate, and when he came back he was pleased to see that three people had messaged him.  However, he was forced to discard them right away, one because he was in a relationship and Dan wasn’t into that, another because he was over 30, and the third because he sent a dick pic before even saying hello.  His first promising message came about fifteen minutes later, from someone who was apparently only four minutes away.  

His name was Phil, he was twenty-five years old, and his picture profile was quite handsome.  He was pale, blue eyes and holding a very cute dog, with a smile that was quite pretty and boyish.  And he had also managed to start the conversation without saying anything obscene or offensive which was depressingly rare.    

P: Hey you’re super cute, love the dimples.

D: Thanks you look pretty good yourself. Almost as good as the Pomeranian.

He hoped that wouldn’t make him sound like he was into bestiality.  

P:  Nothing will ever look as good as that Pomeranian.  

He followed it with a couple of cute emojies and Dan who after all had contained himself for fifteen fucking months found that he simply couldn’t for one more minute.  

D: You up for meeting today?

The response took a little longer than Dan would have hopped.  

P: Okay sure, the Starbucks at the corner of St. Claire and Blackridge work for you?  

D: Perfect.

P: What time?

Was it too thirsty to say now?  Dan considered it for a moment and then decided he didn’t care.  He wanted to have sex, this guys wanted to have sex with him and if he came across as too thirsty then it didn’t really matter, this was after all a hook up, and he could be as shameless as he wanted without being judged for it tomorrow. 

D: Any chance you’re free in half an hour?

P: Yeah actually I am.  

D: Okay see you then.  

Dan dropped his phone, an unconscious smile on his face.  Yes, fuck, he needed this.  He needed to just relax and be without someone and relieve all this tension. And then hopefully he would feel better about the other shitty things in his life.  He quickly got out of bed, and then headed to the shower.  

Thirty minutes later Dan walked into the Starbucks his hands deep into his coat because it was freezing outside.  He looked around the space for a moment before spotting someone who thankfully looked exactly like the profile picture. Phil was sitting on a stool by one of the windows in a bright blue t-shirt, his phone in his hands.  Dan saw the look of relief wash over him as they locked eyes.  

 “Hey,” said Dan, his own voice sounding strangely squeaky.  

“Hello,” said Phil getting up from his seat and hugging him briefly.  This was somehow not as awkward as Dan would have expected.  

“Did you order anything?”

“I was waiting for you.”  They made their way to the counter.   Phil got a caramel macchiato, and Dan got a peppermint tea because he had already had too much sugar.  When they were ready they took the seats by the window again.  

“We must live really close together,” said Phil as he took a little sip of his drink.  

“Yeah I thought that too.”

“Are you a student?”

“Unfortunately, you?”

“I work for the BBC,” said Phil, when Dan’s eyes widened he added quickly.  “Nothing really impressive I’m just in productions.”

“That’s pretty cool though,” he burned his lips on the tea, and resorted to blowing on it like he was a little kid.  

“What are you studying?”

“Law.”

“Wow.”

“I hate it,” he confessed, even though that was something he had never been able to tell his parents.  

“Then why are you-“

“Don’t know,” Dan answered.  “I guess I like being in school only because I don’t have to think about the future or what I’m going to do.  That’s the only reason I’m still in my program, I’m avoiding life.”

Phil laughed, “Well I guess as long as you have a reason.”

There were a few minutes of silence as they both drank.  Dan was feeling oddly comfortable with this guy; he only hoped that the sex would go as smoothly.  “So,” he said after he had gotten through most of his tea. “Would you be up for hooking up?” He was definitely out of practice as that was the crummiest transition and proposition that had ever come out of his mouth.  

Phil however didn’t seem to mind it. “Sure, as long as you’re good.”

“Oh, I’m good,” said Dan with a little hint of a smile.  

They got up, and Phil took the trouble to pick up Dan’s coat and put up over him, which was truly very endearing.  It was six o’clock outside, and very dark, with the streetlights reflected on the snow.  “Your place or mine?” said Phil.

“I have a single bed and three roommates,” said Dan.  

Phil laughed, “Student life, my place then.”

They walked down a block and then crossed the street.  Phil’s building was almost exactly across from Dan’s and a little newer and fancier. As they got in, Phil put his arm around Dan’s waist and Dan sighed, it was so good to feel close to someone again, if only in a physical way.  In the elevator Phil’s gloved hand found his frozen one and he interlocked their fingers before kissing him on the mouth.  

They kissed from the third floor to the sixteenth to the slight surprise of a middle-aged couple who hopped on at the ninth floor.  Phil was an extremely good kisser, warm with something restrained about him that made each kiss seem fresh and clean.  Dan also liked how he moved one of his hands to his waist, and how he was pressing him lightly against the wall of the elevators. This was a very promising start.  

At the sixteenth floor, he pulled Dan out by the hand and they walked through a gleaming white hallway to the fourth door on the left.  Just before going in Dan suddenly stopped.  “Something wrong?” said Phil as he held the door opened.  

Dan blushed; he hadn’t done this in a long time. But he had always had a system, after all Phil seemed perfectly nice but Dan didn’t know anything about him.  “Can you give me one moment,” said Dan as he withdrew his phone.  “I-“ he quickly came up with a lie.  “I told my friend that I was meeting someone and she asked me to check in that it went okay, I forgot.”

“No problem,” said Phil as he went into the room leaving the door open.  

Although his initial plan had been not to tell Louise his general safety was more important than keeping up appearances with his best friend, so quickly sent her a message.  

D: Hey I met someone and I’m going over to their place, if I don’t text you back in two hours please call.  

He then shoved his phone in his pocket and went in, closing the door behind him.  It was a nice, clean, apartment with a red sofa, and a giant bookcase full of video games, which made Dan instantly feel at home.  He hung his coat up, and proceeded to leave his shoes neatly next to Phil’s before joining him on the sofa.  “Like your taste in games,” he said, pointing at vaguely at the Final Fantasy games.  

“Thanks, you play a lot?”

“All the fucking time,” said Dan who spent a fair 90% of his spare time playing games.  “I have a mild Guild Wars addiction.”

Phil laughed, “That’s hot,” he said in a sarcastic tone.  

Dan grinned and then shuffling a little closer kissed him again.  It started out soft, a comforting kind of warmth between them.  Phil’s hand moved to his thigh, their kissing slow and cautious. It had been such a long time since Dan had been in this situation that the mere anticipation of physical involvement already had him hard, but he tried to keep his actions controlled so as to prologue them.  However, with every kiss he felt his inhibitions caving and soon his hands were digging into Phil’s shoulders and he had pressed himself against him until he was practically on his lap.

The feeling was intense, and without giving it a thought he began grinding down on Phil, his mouth trailing kisses down his jaw line to his lovely white neck.  The skin was supple and smooth and as he sucked at one particular place Phil gave a low grunt which was extremely rewarding.   Meanwhile Phil’s hands had slipped beneath his t-shirt, and the feeling of fingertips and the light edge of a nail against his back was making his pants uncomfortably tight.  

“Bedroom?” said Phil as he pulled away a little.  

Dan nodded and shuffled out of his lap, the friction making them both groan.  Phil led him by the hand to the room, which was large, with a blue and green comforter over the bed and fairy lights against the wall.  Dan had about five second for it to sink in before they had collapsed onto the bed and all his thought on the decorations were eclipsed by other things.  Like Phil’s lips, and his tongue, and the way his hands felt as they ran through his hair, pulling the strands just enough to elicit a light sting.  

The first thing to go was his shirt, which Phil threw on the floor, before pushing Dan down on his back and proceeding to lick and suck at his nipples.  As he did so Phil trailed his finger up and down his torso, each time going further down, till he was caressing Dan’s hipbone.  “Fuck,” said Dan his eyes shuttering closed.  “I wanna ride you,” he said in the slurred speech of a drunk.

 

Phil gave a little chuckle.  “That sounds perfect,” he said moving his mouth back up to meet Dan’s.  “Bet you look so good like that, your face all red and your cock dripping.”  The moment he said the word cock his hands went over Dan’s bulge making him whimper.  “Huh, is that what you want?”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Dan in between wild gasps, his hands fumbling with Phil’s pants.  Everything felt like it was spinning, he had spent too long without this, and Phil just seemed to know how to push his buttons.  “I want it so bad,” he said as he finally managed to unzip his pants and pull them down his narrow hips.  

“Good.” Phil pulled back and pulled his t-shirt and his pants off, before going into the last drawer of his nightstand.  Dan attempted to take off his jeans but they stuck to his underwear and when he removed them he found himself very naked. His breathing was erratic and his hands were shaking, and god he hadn’t been this excited in years.  He just hoped the actual sex wasn’t going to be another disappointment.

He sat back on the bed and watched as Phil drew out a bottle of lube and put it on his nightstand along with a condom.  Then he turned back to him, his eyes roamed appreciatively over Dan’s body making him blush.  “You’re really hot.”

Dan wiggled on the bed.  “Thanks.”  Phil reached out and grabbed the lube bottle and was about to pour some onto his hand when Dan stopped him.  “Is it okay if- mmmm-“ he had never quite gotten used to saying the words.  “If I stretch myself, I-“ he would have probably rambled much more but Phil passed him the lube as said:

“As long as I can watch.”

Dan smiled, and Phil lay down across the bed, blue eyes looking intently at him.  Feeling like every part of his body was under searchlights Dan took a deep breath and then straddled him, purposefully rubbing his erection against Phil’s underwear.  He closed his eyes and spread the wet sticky substance over his fingers.  He was used to doing this, he did it in an almost daily basis, but it was always different with someone watching.  He teased around his hole for a moment and then began inserting his index finger.  

There was something calming about doing this, almost therapeutically.  He had begun fingering himself years before his first sexual encounter, which was why it was disappointing that many of the guys he had slept with had sucked at it. They went too fast, or too hard, or they had nails, or they got bored after a minute, which is why he had stopped letting them take care of him like that.  It was just frustrating and a lot of the time it made the sex painful cause they didn’t prepare him fully.  

When he inserted a second finger he let out a little sigh, and Phil’s hand began rubbing softly at the inside of his thigh. “That feel good?”

“Yeah,” Dan whimpered as he began moving his own hips, up and down, fucking himself on his fingers as Phil watched.  

“It looks good.”

Dan inserted a third finger, and then moved his other hand so that it was caressing the large bulge in Phil’s underwear. “It’s gonna look much better when it’s your cock underneath me,” he said breathily as he scissored his fingers carefully inside of him.  Phil’s hands were rubbing over his thighs, and hips, and his fingers were feeling so good, and he was arching his back to get them into the perfect angle.   He moaned when he found it, and then begrudgingly began pulling out of himself.  

He opened his eyes.  Beneath him Phil was pale and beautiful, his hair tasseled and his dick pushing hard against the thin fabric of his underwear.  “Gotta get you out of those,” he said as he moved the elastic band out and then proceeded to throw them on the floor with the rest of their discarded clothes.  

His eyes flashed as he looked at Phil’s cock. It was big, at least 8 inches, but that wasn’t it.  It was also thick, and smooth, and just the right color, and somehow it managed to look really pretty.  With his lubed up hand he rubbed at it a couple of times, feeling the amazing girth of it.  Finally he grabbed the condom from the nightstand and ripped it open, putting it over Phil’s beautiful cock before rubbing it again with a generous amount of lube.  

Before positioning himself, Dan leaned down and kissed Phil again, loving the feeling of his mouth hot against his, and he felt Phil’s hand move to intertwine its fingers around Dan’s.  That was nice too.  Then he moved back over Phil and slowly began lowering himself on his cock until he had bottomed out.  Dan’s eyes were closed but he felt his entire body shutter as he did so.   He found himself blissed out and disoriented, intense pleasure coursing through his body like he had just….

He waited for it to pass and then weakly opened his eyes; Phil was gawking up at him and to his absolute horror there was cum on his dick and Phil’s stomach beneath him.  Dan turned violently red and tried to stammer an apology.  “I’m so- I- that’s never-“ words failed him, as the most acute feeling of shame that he had ever experienced washed over him like his orgasm had just.  

“That’s okay,” said Phil softly, and his hand was rubbing at Dan’s hip again.  “It was incredibly hot to watch actually.”

“I- it’s really never happened to me before,” said Dan who realized with equal surprise that he was dangerously close to crying.  

“It’s really okay Dan,” said Phil in a very comforting voice.  “Don’t get upset, things are sometimes really intense.  Don’t worry about it.”  He propped himself up on his elbows.  “Do you want me to get you a cup of tea or something?”

“What?”

“Can I get you anything?”

“No,” I Dan gulped. “I-“ he suddenly moved his hips and both he and Phil moaned at the same time.  “I wanna ride you, I really really wanna ride you, don’t make me stop,” he said moving his hips again and closing his eyes feeling tears down his face.  “Please, please, please,” he said and with each word he moved himself up and down Phil’s dick, his chest heaving.  

“Oh,” was the only response Phil was able to make and Dan’s movements began to speed up.  

This was beyond anything Dan had ever experienced, and he had no idea why.  Phil’s dick seemed to have a magically ability of hitting him right on the prostate but that wasn’t it.  There was just something about him; about the way he used his hands, even about the way that he looked at Dan that drove him crazy.  And there was also something about the embarrassment of having cum untouched from five seconds of a dick being inside of him.  That was incredibly humiliating, and also incredibly hot.  

Dan felt everything in his life evaporate away, until their bodies were the only things he cared about.  He moved frantically and erratically, loving the feeling of Phil’s dick, and the way his nails were clawing at his lower back.  He was sweaty and disgusting and loving it, his cum on both of them and Phil’s low gorgeous moans in his ear.  He was exerting himself so much his whole body was shaking, and as he felt close to cumming he wrapped his own hand around his cock feeling the blue of Phil’s eyes on him.  

 

His second orgasm was less violent than the first but longer.  He rocked back and forth, his head contorted upwards and his body arched, cum collecting between his fingers.  Phil came shortly after with a loud gasp and a close of his eyes.  Dan rode him out as best he could considering he was entirely exhausted and then he collapsed on top of him, a beautiful, familiar and forgotten calm seeping throughout his body.

He half noticed when Phil gently moved his dick out of him, and then lay Dan on the bed next to him.  But his eyes were closed, and frankly he cared very little. He buried his face in a pillow, stretched out on the bed feeling of the chill of the air on his skin.  Everything felt so good.  

Phil quietly got out bed and went to the bathroom grabbing a box of wet wipes.  He disposed of the condom and cleaned himself off, before going back into the room. Dan was lying naked on top of the colorful sheets, one of his legs stretched out and the other one folded at the knee, a generous space between them.  Carefully, so as not to bother him, Phil wiped away at the lube around his hole.  He was going to flip him and clean his dick and stomach, but something about him spread out was very distracting.  He just looked so good, with his pale ass, and his pink little hole all stretched out from riding dick.  

Without quite noticing Phil found his hand rubbing along Dan’s cheeks, and he heard the younger boy give a satisfied little sigh. Phil licked his lips.  It had been ages since he’d had sex with a boy and this one in particular had been so pliant and good.  Dan gave another little sigh, and Phil found himself climbing onto the bed.  He knew that he should let him sleep, but there was something he wanted to do more and he wasn’t going too chicken to ask for it.  

He prodded Dan’s shoulder until deep brown eyes were looking up at him.  “Do you want me to go?” he said in a weary voice.  

“Nah,” said Phil shaking his head.  “But do you think I could rim you?”

“What?” Dan’s eyes opened wide, and a little blush crept onto his face.  “You want to….”

“Yes,” said Phil at once.  

“Um, okay,” said Dan, and the red on his face grew a little deeper.  “Should I get on my knees, or-“

“No, you look really good like this,” said Phil leaning down and giving him a kiss before moving down to his ass.  Dan had parted his legs nicely giving him lots of room to work with.  Phil gripped at his ass with either hand, before touching his hole with the very tip of his tongue.  He lapped around it, kissing at his inner thighs, until he felt Dan grinding down on the bed and heard the eagerness in his moans.  Then he pulled him down till his legs were hanging off the bed and he could kneel more comfortably on the floor, Dan’s ass presented beautifully in front of him.  

He flicked his tongue at the entrance, before pushing in and then carefully sliding back.  Dan was wiggling weakly, his sounds muffled by the pillow beneath him. Phil ate him out slowly, savoring the taste and feel of his skin.  His nails digging into the boy’s milky thighs as he felt Dan rub himself against the sheets.  When he came it was in almost complete silence, his body stiffening for a few seconds and then relaxing like water.  Phil sighed with satisfaction and then kissed Dan’s wet hole before climbing back onto the bed.  They must have fallen asleep cause the next thing Phil remembered was the Pokémon theme songs coming dimly through the air.  

Dan grumbled and turned in the bed.  He was so exhausted and content, why was someone calling him now? He positioned the pillow till it was covering his ears, not wanting nothing more than to get back to sleep.  And then he remembered why he felt so delicious, and realized with a start who was probably calling.  Begrudgingly he got out of bed and searched through his skinny jeans for his phone. Surely enough it was Louise.  

“Dan!” came her voice with a start.  “I was worried, this is the third time I call is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” said Dan running a hand through his hair. “It’s fine, we just fell asleep.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah Louise, everything’s good.  I’ll snapchat when I get home okay?”

“Alright,” there was a small pause.  “Who is this mystery guy anyway, do I know him?”

“We’ll talk later,” said Dan who could hear Phil’s stirring on the bed.  He put his phone back into his pocket and began to gather his clothes up and dress.

“Leaving?” he heard Phil say from the bed.  

“Yeah, I should, or my roommates will have a freak out,” said Dan as he zipped up his jeans.

“Okay.”

When he had finished dressing he went back to Phil, who was still naked and kissed him.  “I had a fucking good time though.”

“You have a dirty mouth.”

“You should talk,” said Dan with a cheeky smile.

Phil laughed.  “Have a good night Dan.”

“You too- I,” He was lingering at the door with a familiar feeling at his throat.  He wanted to see him again.  He wanted to see if they were as compatible in real life as they were in the bedroom. But dozes of rejections had taught Dan that he definitely wouldn’t be interested.  “It was good meeting you,” he said instead and then went through the door very quickly and grabbed his coat and shoes.  

Even though his apartment was only four minutes away it felt like a great distance to drag his sore exhausted body through. He collapsed into bed, and barely remembered to send Louise a snapchat before closing his eyes and falling fast asleep again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 Dan woke up at four o’clock in the morning, drank two glasses of water, ate a cold turkey sandwich and then proceeded to fall back asleep almost instantly.  He didn’t wake up again till his alarm went off at 11 o’clock the following morning and then he groaned out of bed.  He smelled like sex, baby wipes, and stale deodorant so the first thing he did was hop into the shower.  Once he was out and feeling clean, in fresh clothes, he grabbed his phone and without a second of doubt deleted the Grindr up again, not bothering to check any of the new messages he had gotten. 

The previous night had been wonderful.  Without a doubt, it had been the best sex Dan had ever had.  There had been a weird synchronicity between him and Phil, and because he had been celibate for so long all three of his orgasms had felt earthshattering.  But that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want hook-ups anymore.  He was twenty-one years old and he wanted a boyfriend, his first ever boyfriend.  Hook-ups were fun and easy, but he wanted someone who would always be there for him, he wanted a relationship. 

Throughout his teens, Dan had probably had sex with fifty guys if not more, honestly he had never bothered keeping track.  He had been indiscriminate and curious, and that had led to a lot of amazing experiences, but not the one thing he wanted with all his heart.  He had never fallen in love, and he was sure as hell no one had ever loved him.  So despite the pleasure of the previous night, Grindr had to go, that was most certainly not the place to fall in love. 

He spent most of the afternoon avoiding his roommates by playing Skyrim, and then at six o’clock after getting a lot of pestering messages from Louise he went out to meet her at her favorite Italian place. 

She greeted with a long hug as always and they sat down in the patio.  He wearing all black, she in a very pretty purple dress with her blonde hair curled.  “So, who was the guy?” she said after the initial greetings. 

Dan sighed.  “You’re not going to like it.”

“Don’t tell me its Greg,” she said with a wrinkled nose. 

Dan gagged.  Greg was the most obnoxious of his three super obnoxious roommates and they both hated him.  “Never, why would you think that?  It was just some guy on Grindr.”

“Oh,” he could tell that she was trying to hide her disappointment.  “Well, that’s okay Dan.  Did you have a good time?”

“It was actually amazing.”

“Yeah?”

Dan nodded and sipped at his water.  “Like I know it’s been a while, but I think that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Wow.   Are you going to see him again?”

“Nah, I already deleted the app.  This was just a one-time thing; I’m really not looking for hook-ups.”

“But if you guys were so good-“

“He wouldn’t wanna see me,” said Dan at once. 

Louise’s eyes widened and she leaned across the table at him.  “Dan, did you even ask him? “

“Just trust me I know.”

“Dan,” her voice was whinny.  “I love you but why do you always do that to yourself? You’re shutting people out.  If you liked him and wanted to see him again you should have at least given him your number.”

“I’ve gone through that enough times,” said Dan, the bitterness audible in his voice. 

Louise looked like she was going to argue with him for a moment but then she thought better of it and put her arm around his shoulder.  “Well, there’s always another time.  Now let’s order I’m starving,” she said drawing up the menu with her hand.  Dan was incredibly relieved that she dropped the subject and the rest of their dinner was nice and uneventful. 

-

For the next couple of weeks, Dan tried very hard to focus on school, but flashbacks of his night with Phil made that very difficult.  Somehow he was hornier now than he had been before, and his daily masturbation rituals began happening both in the morning and in the evening.  Suddenly his decision to erase his only way to contact Phil seemed hasty and stupid, and he had to keep reminding himself that Phil probably wanted nothing to do with him, and if he did it was probably just for another hookup. 

After about three weeks Dan went on a date with Al, a cheesy guy that he met in one of his classes.  He had been hitting on Dan since the start of the year but Dan hadn’t acted on it, cause he was loud, and blonde and just generally not his type.  But he wasn’t a bad guy, and maybe Dan needed to try something outside of the usual.  They went to a nice vegan restaurant for dinner and then a rowdy bar afterward where Dan allowed himself to drink way too much. 

In the end, they ended up having sloppy sex on Al’s bed, and when Dan tried to get up after to stumble his way home, Al rested his head on Dan’s shoulder and he was immobilized for the rest of the evening.  The morning after was fairly unpleasant as Al called him sweetie and made him pancakes and acted frankly too much like Dan’s mom.  He left the house with a bad feeling in his mouth, especially when he remembered that every time he finished his drink last night Al would order him another without even asking.  He had definitely overdone it, and as soon as he got to his own bathroom he found himself throwing up chocolate chip pancakes and vegetable mush. 

He grumbled to Louise about it the next day.

“But why did you go on a date with him then if you didn’t like him?” she asked.

Dan sighed.  “Because the boys I like don’t like me.”  Louise rolled her eyes.  “I’m serious.”

“What about the last guy? You didn’t even give him a chance.”

He tried to shrug it off, but it was true.  Something about Phil had stuck in his memory.  Over the next few days had several uncomfortable conversations with Al about how they probably shouldn’t go out again.  The guy took it with very little maturity and told Dan that he didn’t want to go out with a meat-eating slut anyway.  That hurt more than it should have because it reminded him that the reputation he had created in his first two years at University was still very much alive. 

-

The day before Valentine’s Day he saw Phil again.  Despite the fact that they shared a block, and that he had been purposefully on the lookout for him they hadn’t crossed paths in more than a month.  Dan saw him at the Starbuck they had met, which he had been frequenting with that singular purpose in mind.  As the place was fairly crowded Phil was sitting at the counter, with a laptop opened in front of him. 

Dan stood in line to get his hot chocolate, his heart beating very quickly as he tried to come up with something to say.  Why did he have to be so awkward? Why couldn’t he just greet him like a normal person?  The very thought of going up to him was terrifying, despite this being someone who had once had his tongue up his asshole.  Why then was he so afraid of saying hi?

When Dan’s drink arrived he took a long gulp, burned his tongue and then knowing that he would always regret it if he didn’t, he walked up to Phil and tapped his shoulder.  Phil turned around and at seeing Dan immediately smiled and stood up. 

“Hey Dan,” he said giving him a brief hug. 

“Hi,” he answered with what was probably a very goofy smile.

“How have you been?”

“Good, good-“ Dan had to stop himself from repeating the word a third time.

“I tried to look for you but I could never find you again.  I had a really good time with you.” How was he able to say things so easily?  And nicely?

“Yeah, sorry, I deleted it, someone was hassling me,” said Dan which was a big fat lie but Phil wouldn’t know.  He quickly withdrew a piece of paper and pen from his school bag.  “I had a nice time that night too. Mmm, this is my number,” he said passing the paper to Phil.  “You know if you ever wanna hook up again?”

For once Phil seemed a little nonplused but after a moment he smiled and grabbed the number.  “Okay, great.”

“I should go, got class,” said Dan before turning around and marching out of that Starbucks like his life depended on it.  It was only when he reached his apartment that he realized it was a fucking Sunday. 

- 

Three days later while trying not to pay attention to the outrageously loud argument his roommates were having on the other side of the door he got a text message from an unknown number. 

P:  Hey Dan, its Phil are you free sometime this week?                              

D: Definitely, when works for you?

P: Tomorrow?

D: Yeah, that’s good, but what about tonight?

P: Haha, sure I’m literally in my pajamas watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer but if that gets you going then all the better for you. 

Dan grinned and got out of bed. 

D: That depends is Angel in that episode?

P: No but Spike is.

D: Not the same.

P: Lol. When can you come over?

D: I’ll be there in twenty.

P: K, buzzer number is 1949.

D: XD

Dan got dressed and left the apartment without messaging Louise.  He was trying not to think.  This was just a second hook up; he had had plenty of those before.  It was no big deal.  Phil was a nice person to sleep with.  That was it.  Nothing more. Except that he liked Final Fantasy, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer and that he seemed to have as dismal a social life as Dan himself.  But that didn’t mean anything this was just about sex. 

-

Surely enough when Phil opened the door he did so in ridiculous emoji pajamas.  Dan might have mocked him if he wasn’t too busy trying to stick his tongue down his throat.  He didn’t even say hi, his one and only priority was crashing their bodies together and get a taste of his mouth again.  They stumbled through the apartment in a wild rush, Phil’s hands squeezing his ass and his wrapped around Phil’s neck, feeling the curve of his shoulders.  

They didn’t stop until Dan was lying down on Phil’s couch, and Phil’s mouth was sucking at his very sensitive neck.  Dan contorted underneath him moaning feverishly, his sliding down Phil’s body to his obvious bulge.  “You’re aggressive today,” Phil muttered before proceeding to lick at his collarbone. 

“Horny,” said Dan as a way of explanation. 

“I gathered.  Think you can cum untouched again?”

“Yeah, but I wanna suck your dick first. Didn’t get to do that last time.”

Phil grinned.  “No objections here.”

Dan flipped them over, straddling him and swiftly taking off Phil’s shirt, revealing a soft expanse of very pale skin.  He ran his fingers over his chest, and ribs until he got to his to the elastic band of his pajama pants.  “These make things a little easier,” he said as he pushed them down till he could see his beautiful cock again.  His mouth was literally watering.  It was just so thick and heavy; he leaned down and slid his tongue up and down his slip with relish as Phil’s body tensed.   

There was something so gratifying about sucking dick.  Dan had always loved that feeling of giving someone else such intense pleasure, and he couldn’t help but smile at the little moans Phil was making as he began swirling his tongue with deliberate slowness.  “You’re such a little tease,” said Phil in an agitated tone as he watched Dan lick the entire length of his cock. 

Dan looked up at him with mock innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said as he continued licking, his hand firmly wrapped around the base of his cock.  Phil smirked and reclined his head back, closing his eyes as Dan began using his spit as lubricant and moving his hand.  He licked the head one last time before puckering his lips and slowly inch by inch taking the whole thing in his mouth.  It was a little hard to adjust as it got to the back of his throat, but Dan took deep breaths and concentrated and keeping relaxed.  When it felt okay he began bobbing his head up while he hollowed his cheeks trying to give Phil as much pleasure as he could. 

He could feel Phil’s hands tightening around his hair as he tilted his hips trying to get Dan to take all of him in again.  Dan accepted the loss of control with pleasure and closed his eyes as he let Phil gently rock in and out of him.  He couldn’t even remember the last time he had gotten face fucked.  It wasn’t something that he usually liked given that most of his partners were for one or two nights.  There was something intimate about it, it required trust.  But with Phil, it felt good.  There was something about him that made Dan immediately comfortable.  It was clear that he was trying to be gentle and not hurt him.  His movements had a set rhythm putting Dan at ease. 

“You look ridiculously good doing that,” said Phil between moans.  “But if you keep going I won’t last for much else.”

Dan drew back and licked his lips, the bitter-salty taste of pre-cum in his mouth.  “I hope not,” he kissed the tip of his penis.  “I need to have this inside me again.”

Phil made a sound something like a growl. “I want you bent over something.”

The words made him whimper.  “Yeah, that sounds so good.”

He pulled him up and they kissed, Phil’s arms wrapping around his waist before fidgeting with the buttons of his jeans.  “Bed, or Kitchen table?” he said as he sucked a hickey into Dan’s hip. 

“Table,” Dan groaned, arching his back into his mouth.  His pants and underwear slid down his legs and he stepped out of them, balancing himself with his hands on Phil’s powerful white shoulders.  Once naked, they playfully chased each other back into the dining room, and Dan lay on his stomach on the cold glass, his head turned to the side and his weight tilted on the tips of his toes to give Phil better access. 

Phil stroked his ass with relish, feeling the plush white skin, taut but malleable.  He placed the bottle of lube and the condom on the table before crouching down till he was facing Dan’s hole and then extending his tongue to lick over it.  Dan moaned and bit at his lips, his eyes flickering closed.  Phil’s tongue lapped the area and then moved past it licking at his gooch, and sucking each of his balls into his mouth. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dan muttered, falling back onto the heels of his feet.

Phil retracted his tongue. “Your ass is literally perfect,” he said giving it a little spank before getting up again.   He grabbed the bottle of lube and spread the gelatinous substance over his fingers.  Dan’s first instinct was to tell him that he’d rather do it himself, but Phil had beautiful hands and it would nice to have someone gentle do that to him again. 

He leaned in and kissed Dan’s shoulder.  Dan braced himself against the cold table as he felt Phil’s left hand push his cheeks apart, and then a single wet digit swirl over his hole.  He sighed as it gently pushed into him, much slower than he would himself have done.  “Is that good baby?” Phil cooed watching his face for any sign of discomfort.

Dan responded by wiggling his ass and pushing him further in.  He was tense against the feeling; it was strange to have someone do this for him again, but good.  Phil slid another wet finger inside of him and he groaned as he twisted them further in, almost hitting his spot.  “Am I close?’ he whispered. 

“Uh-uh,” Dan gasped. 

He moved them in and out, the sound going straight to Dan’s cock, and then he shifted them slightly to the left and Dan’s body gave a violent twitch.  Phil smiled over him, pushing another finger into his hole.  He spread them masterfully as he moved in and out of him.  Dan was gripping the edge of the table hard, trying to stop himself from grabbing his dick. 

“That’s good,” he panted after a couple more minutes.

The fingers pulled out of him, and he heard Phil rip open the condom. 

Dan looked back at him over his shoulder.  His face was red from where it had been pressed into the glass.  “Don’t use any more lube,” he said.

“You sure?”

He nodded and arched his back, bringing Phil’s attention back to his ass.  He felt strong hands grip at his hips, and then the tip of his hard cock pushed in.  Dan moaned with desperation, Phil had barely pushed in an inch.  He backed up, trying to make more of his cock in, but Phil’s hands pressed harder against his hips.  “I’m setting the pacing this time, you’ll have to be patient,” he said keeping Dan in place. 

Dan groaned as Phil moved another minuscule amount into him.  “Please, please,” he said in what could only be described as a cry. 

“Don’t worry you’ll get it soon enough.”

“I want it now.”

“So fucking needy, I’m surprised you haven’t cum yet,” he said, and Dan felt the sharp sting of a spank just as he pushed a little further into him. 

“Oh my god,” he breathed, the anticipation and the delicious pain combining to expel a string of precum out of his dick.  “Please, please, I need it faster,” said Dan shifting his hips desperately.  Phil chuckled and moved another inch into him, the stretch delicious.  “Fuck,” that was the only word he could make.  His eyes were closed, and he felt the second spank rather than felt it. 

“Want more?” said Phil.

“Yes,” Dan managed to croak.  There were tears in his eyes, and his dick was so hard it felt like it was going to break. 

He felt a kiss to the top of his spine, and then in one fluid beautiful motion Phil pushed forward and bottomed out inside of him.  “Such a good boy,” he whispered into Dan’s ear, as the body beneath him shook and released.  Dan spluttered, his orgasm hitting fast and intense just as Phil began to violently fuck into him. 

“So fucking pretty,” he said, his hand running over his ass.  “So good, cumming without me even touching your cock.”

Dan moaned, raising his hips a little to give Phil better access.  “Its cause yours is so fucking _big_ ,” he stammered, licking at his lips. 

For that comment Phil spanked him again and pushed him back against the table, sinking deeper into him.  He fucked him fast and hard until his legs were shaking, and his nails digging into Dan’s hips.  “I’m close,” he panted. 

“Me too,” Dan said his face red.  “Can you touch me?” he whispered.

Phil’s hand fumbled across the table and wrapped itself around Dan’s cock.  He came a second later, burying himself deep into his ass, and biting at his shoulder.  He pumped Dan’s cock, as he came, his thumb rubbing over the slit.  Dan’s second orgasm was long, as he felt the cock inside of him pulse.

He whimpered when Phil pulled out of him.  “That was amazing,” he heard him say as he stepped away.  Dan’s back cracked, as he got back onto his feet, his body shaking from the strain of being in his tip-toes for so long.   Besides him Phil was covered in sweat, his black hair pushed away from his forehead into a quiff.  He was leaning against the wall, catching his breath with closed eyes. 

Since he was still wearing a condom, and Dan knew how uncomfortable that could be, he slid his hand over his warm dick and carefully rolled it off of him.  Phil muttered “Thanks.”  He raised it up to the light and saw of the cum through the rubber.  What would that feel like inside him? He wondered, there was another intimate thing he had never tried because he had never known any of his partners well enough. 

“Bathrooms that way,” he said pointing in the direction of the room. 

“Right,” muttered Dan crossing the hallway and the bedroom, shooting a glance at the mass array of discarded clothing items.  He threw away the condom and wiped his cock and stomach down with baby wipes, he was washing his hands when Phil came in through the open door.  For some reason, it was odd to be in such a small space together, no matter what they had just been doing, and Dan moved back to the room as soon as he had finished.  He sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at his clothes.  How many more times was going to do this before he found someone who actually liked him?

He hung his head and began picking up his underwear.  Phil emerged but he didn’t look at him until he felt a weight hit the bed by his side.  “I’m really glad we saw each other again,” he said, and Dan looked up to see him sleep. 

“Me too,” fidgeting with his fringe. 

“Would you want to do this again sometime?”

“Yes,” he said before he could give it a second thought.  Phil was great, sex with him was satisfying.  It wasn’t a relationship or anything like that, he could just think of it like stress relief, that way he would be desperate enough to go out with (and sleep with) pigs like Al.  “I’d love that.”

Phil put a hand on his jaw and drew him into a kiss.  “Great,” he said like that was all there was to it, and Dan guessed that was how things stood between them.  He got dressed, kissed him again and then made his way back to his apartment. 

**Author's Note:**

> updates will be sporadic, but i am determined to finish this


End file.
